first_thanksgiving

Warning: may not be historically accurate.

Last year, I got some stares around the table. The family sat silently with shocked, confused looks on their faces that I’d never seen before; moreso than when I lived at their house and would blast my odd musical tastes for all to hear, or the time that one Thanksgiving years ago I defended my opposition to the invasion of Iraq after sitting there for a long time without saying a word (…but I think they saw that one coming). Here they were, like so many times before, gathering around to carve up the bird and give thanks, and there I was, pouring beer after beer for each course.

Now, if I’d been toting around a cranberry and vodka, or a glass of vino, I feel like they might’ve had a different perspective, one of maturity or simply just blending in. But no, I was doing a most dreadful thing: boozing it up with beer!

I realize now that they didn’t know, or care, that I was pairing my beers with these courses. And only after I tried to explain my goal to a relative or two did they give me a half-assed nod and look off into the distance. Besides, I was the lone vegetarian at the Thanksgiving table; I might as well go night-golfing every fourth Thursday in November.

But nay, I forged ahead with some select dishes and a penchant for (what I’d like to think is) good beer. This year, I think I’ll do the same, and maybe get a few less funny looks from the family.

Based on some recommendations from BeerAdvocate and the venerable Michael Jackson, I’m currently cooking up a plan of action. For instance, before dinner, I’ll probably heed the advice of the Alström brothers and not kill the palate before the real feast begins. Something light and crisp should do. While they mostly recommend some pilsners and light lagers, I might be more inclined to go the Jackson route and dish up a glass of Orval to get the tastebuds jumping.

Since the hors d’ouevres don’t get too fancy or elaborate where I come from, seafood and shellfish will more than likely not be served beforehand. Ergo, those Irish stouts and American porters may not be called for here. Besides, I don’t eat that stuff anyway. Give me a plate of cheese and crackers and a salad, and I’m satisfied. It’d probably be a good idea to pick something up that has a little bit of a hop kick, but not so much that it lingers before you get into the meal itself. The late Michael Jackson recommends gueuzes with salads, and krieks with fruit salad. While the second one sounds like a winner, I think pale ales might be a better choice for vegetable salads and a mild cheese pairing, at least for me. Having a powerfully sour gueuze at the front end just seems like a bad idea. Although his recommendations of Berliner weisse for vegetables and Hefeweizen for fruit salad would be a much more appropriate selection. I’ll see what I can find in the beer stores down there.

tofurkyNow it comes down to the bird. I’ll be dining on a delicious Tofurky with vegetarian dumplings, stuffing, and gravy. Your snickers are going unnoticed here, simpleton. Again the recommendations of pilsners/light lagers or Belgian strong ales come up, and for good reason. Both have an intense ability to cut through the dryness of the turkey (or in my case, soy bird), and both will more often than not have a spicy tinge to them that will pair quite well. The Belgians will provide a complementary sweetness that will make for an appetizing contrast. Not sure which way to go with this one, but I’ll have to figure something out. I’m tempted to pull out the Orval here, actually, or perhaps go the way of the dubbel or quad.

Then comes dessert. Dark, high alcohol, densely-malted stouts are on the list from the American side, but I find the amber Märzen suggestion to be a more enticing one, especially since the alcohol content would be much lower. Perhaps Michael Jackson was just being a Germanophile when composing his list back in ‘83, but I still think it’s a solid pairing idea to go with pumpkin pie or other sweets that would work with that soft caramel touch. Besides, you can save the big, heavy boozy stuff for after the meal. And if it makes you feel better, pour it into a snifter and put on a smoking jacket.

I’m not sure what I’ll be able to find there during my brief visit, but I’m willing to take my chances. I might cheat and bring some stuff from my own private stock, but I’d like to just purchase it when I get to my destination. That adds an element of excitement, and it’s just more fun that way. We’ll see what I can cobble together, and how many heads I can turn this year.

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