I’ve never set foot in this store. While I’ve heard great things about organic food options at a reasonable price, Trader Joe’s is still a strange, strange realm to me. Hell, I only visited Whole Foods for the first time a few months ago, but that’s mainly because these stores are located west of Richmond, in the clogged, vapid, suburban hellhole that is Short Pump. Reminds me of Virginia Beach. Only without an ocean.

So after the holidays, a pal o’ mine belatedly gifted me a bottle that was emblazoned with “Trader Joe’s 2008 Vintage Ale” in gold lettering. The phrase below it, “Dark Ale on Lees” should have given away who brewed it, because Unibroue’s the only brewer in North America that I’m aware of that uses such vernacular with their beer. If there is another brewer on the continent that does use such a phrase, I don’t wanna know. It’ll ruin my credibility with the nerds.

Dark cherry wood. That’s the best I can describe the color and the first thing that comes to mind; hints of garnet and mahogany, kind of a cross between the two. On top is a billowing head of tightly-linked bubbles, which eventually expand in the middle and dissipate to medium-size all over. It’s amazing what happens when you watch four fingers of head in action, carrying out whatever scientific processes are going on with it. A beer Goethe, or just too much time on my hands? You decide.

The aroma is… dry? I know that’s not accurate, but just a whiff of this thing gives you that characteristic dry, sugary, slightly yeasty Unibroue scent; you know, the one that pervades every beer they brew, and makes you wonder if they’re brewing only one beer, slightly tweaking it post-fermentation, and labeling it something else. Damn if it didn’t have that hint of apple/pear somewhere toward the middle and finish dry and crisp with that noticeable yeast note. Carbonation level was high, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary for Unibroue. As a matter of fact, this seemed slightly less so than others, and I could swear there felt like a drop of a syrupy texture underneath.

I could see the benefits of pairing this (and most Unibroue) beers with a few dishes, or even using it as an aperitif or palate cleanser. On its own, it seems like it’s lacking something due to the fact that it finishes so dryly and offers minimal flavor complexity. Is it just me, or is this characteristic of their entire lineup? I used to be convinced that their elite and exclusively Belgian-style portfolio was varied and vastly superior. Now, I’m not so sure.

The bright side of all this? Apparently Trader Joe’s sells beer.